8w1d - Eew

I feel gross. So here's how my version of morning sickness works so far: I feel sick all.day.long. The only thing that makes me feel better is to eat something, but the last thing I want to do when I'm feeling nasty is eat. So I have to pick something that almost sounds appealing and just go for it. But I can't eat too much...oh no, because then I feel worse than I did before I crammed the food down my own throat. So I am eating about 8 small meals a day. Which makes me feel like I'm going to gain crazy amounts of weight. I hope not. I'm at least trying to make healthy choices. This all hit me while I was off for break, though, so I'm not sure how it's going to play out when I go back to work tomorrow.... "Excuse me, kids, while I scarf down these carrots."

On a positive note, K and I made it through Thanksgiving without anyone finding out about baby. I only had one person question me...an uncle, which was unexpected. He walked in the door and said, "Hi, no babies yet?" To which I replied, "Nope, not yet!" :) My mom did notice my super bloat though (it was AWFUL on Thanksgiving). She pat my stomach and said, "Full tummy?" Yes, mom, full of food and a baby.

7w2d - Little raspberry

Well, I am officially into my 8th week of pregnancy. Baby is the size of a raspberry! Wow, I can't believe he/she is so big in there already. Apparently my uterus is the size of a grapefruit, but I am completely unaware of it.

I have started to feel my first beautiful waves of nausea. Luckily I have not gotten sick yet. It's hard to describe the feeling exactly. I just feel wrong, gross inside. I really hope it doesn't progress into anything worse, but I'll deal with whatever I need to in order to get this baby here!

I got a present in the mail today! Eclipsed, my fab BFPB sent this for Baby Bee:


It's a really cushy, soft baby blanket (with a cute little bee on it), a 3-pack of bibs, and a Christmas ornament with a pg girl that says, "Mommy to be". So cute. Thanks, E!

And lastly, my belly pics for 7 weeks. It seems that I'm doing them about every 2 weeks. That's good until I start having something to look at, right?

6w6d - Progress!

Since I went to the doctor when I was 6w5d and they moved my due date back two days I went back to being 6w3d. So today I am happy to say I am back to making forward progress! I am 6w6d and can't wait to be an even 7 weeks tomorrow. I can't figure out if time is going by quickly or slowly. It seems like the days are dragging, but at the same time I can't believe I'm almost 7 weeks already!

6w3d - Home from the appointment!

And this one went great! We had the usual paperwork and health history to do, then I had my pap. This was the first time K got to experience such a wonderful time in a woman's life and he agreed that it is rather barbaric. Poor guy. (and poor me too!). After talking about my cramping that I've been having and the questionable cm that I didn't know if it was spotting or not, my doctor decided to do an ultrasound (yay!). Here is Baby Bee's first photo:
Aww, isn't he/she a cute blob? We were able to see the heartbeat flickering away at 134 bpm. Baby was measuring pretty much on target with my ovulation date. They moved my due date two days from July 9th to July 11th. I'm a little sad at losing those two days, but I am so happy that everything is looking good!

My next appointment is December 30th, at which I will have another u/s done for the neuchal translucency test. I'll be just over 12 weeks and am excited to see all the changes that baby goes under between now and then. K and I are still debating about when to tell the fam, but I feel more comfortable telling them now that we've seen the heartbeat, so for now we are tentatively set on Thanksgiving.

6w2d - Baby Bee

Apparently I am bad at updating about my baby...I missed the whole "sweet pea" phase of his/her life. But this week I present......a blueberry! Baby Bee will grow to approximately 1/2inch this week. He/she has a regular heartbeat and is growing arms and legs. The picture of baby isn't too frightening to show this week, so here it is!
So far I am still not having much in the way of symptoms. My snotty nose is getting pretty nasty, but I have been sleeping better. My first appointment at the new doctor's office is tomorrow afternoon. K is coming with me to this one and I have high hopes that it will go much better. Even if I don't get an u/s I know that I will get one at 12 weeks and that makes me feel a lot better about things.

6w0d - first appointment

Now that I have finally calmed down from my appointment on Thursday, let me try to explain how horrid it was...

First of all, this was the 'group' appointment, which I was told was a 90 minute informational session on what to expect for the rest of the pregnancy. Well...I got there and checked in and it was me and two other women. The first was a lady who was 12 weeks and just figured out she was pregnant, the other was a nice couple that didn't speak much english and was terrified because her first pregnancy and labor did not go smoothly. So I was already uncomfortable, didn't feel like I related to these other women I was sitting there with. I quickly figured out that this "informational session" was for THEIR information, not mine. I had to fill out my own health history, half of which was in doctor lingo I didn't understand. I also had to chug the orange crap for my glucose test which I was not expecting to get that day.

Anyway, during this session I found out that the doctor's office would not confirm my pregnancy for me through either a urine test or a blood test - they were just taking my word for it. And my first and only u/s would be at 20 weeks. Um...that is unacceptable to me. I was looking forward so much to having confirmation that the bean is really in there and was basically told that I would not be validated at all.

So I leave that session fuming and about to cry and go down to get my bloodwork done. Now, I have to tell you I am not a fan of blood. And I knew they would be taking several vials of blood and was nervous that it would hurt or that I would feel them jiggling it around when they changed the vials. The lady was really nice and did a great job. It didn't hurt at all and I didn't feel any jiggling! I was feeling pretty proud of myself when...oh crap, tunnel vision. The next thing I know several ladies are saying, "Are you ok? Are you ok?" Yep, I passed out. Ridiculous. So then they had to take me over to a bed to lie down until a nurse could come check me out, which made me feel so dumb. I kept saying I was fine, but they insisted I at least lie there for a little while. Thinking I could make myself at least feel a little better I ask one of the lab techs, "Does this happen often?" She says, "Um...I've never seen this happen." Great.

So I finally sulk out of the lab, feeling like a loser, and start crying halway to my car. I'm thinking this day cannot get any worse. Wrong. I didn't realize that the parking garage I was in was a paid lot...and I had NO MONEY. So I get to the gate and this big tough guy says, "2.25" I said, "I don't have any cash...do you take a credit card?" He's looking at me like I'm a stuck-up college girl, so I start counting random pennies and nickles I am finding in my car. I'm trying so hard not to cry anymore and my eyes are all watery and my lip starts quivering....nothing scares a big tough man like a crying girl. So he says, "Just go." I peeled out of the lot and cried the whole way home.

On my way home I realized that I had to find a new doctor. It took a bit of searching, but I ended up finding another practice that is covered by my insurance. I called yesterday and spoke with a couple different people from that office and have high hopes that they will be a better fit. They said they'd see me initially at 8 weeks (I go in a little early on Tuesday for my first appointment) and then I would have my first u/s the next appointment, at 12 weeks. Yay! I am so ready to see this little bee! I am hoping and praying that my appointment Tuesday goes better and that K is able to come with me for this one. We'll see how it goes!!

5w4d - First appointment tomorrow!

So my first appointment is tomorrow. This is the "group prenatal" appointment where they spend 90 minutes educating us on pregnancy and what to expect. Then I go get bloodwork done. Which I am not looking forward to at all, but for the bean I will do anything. I am just ready to have some kind of reassurance that everything is going well.

K and I still haven't decided when to tell the family. We ordered everything (shirts, mug) that we need to tell them. And I made a video montage to tell friends.
The debate is whether to tell at Thanksgiving (when I will be 8 weeks) or Christmas (when I will be 12 weeks). Being on the nest for so long, I have seen so many people experience pregnancy loss. I am terrified that will be me and don't want to tell people only to have to take it back and tell them we lost the baby. On the other hand, I feel like I should be an optimist and tell knowing that everything will go fine. I'm hoping I feel strongly one way or the other after my second appointment. Because once we tell family EVERYONE will know, so it's a big decision. Any advice or comments are welcome! Help me out!

Other than that ongoing mental struggle, I have been doing ok. I am pretty sick with a headcold (it just can't all be a pg symptom!). I am sniffly, sneezy, and generally miserable. And still not sleeping, which is getting to be a real pain in the ass.

To view the montage we made to tell friends, visit:
http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=75c561a96f4250f629d210&skin_id=801&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

5w2d - Exhaustion

I never fully understood pure exhaustion before. I get it now. I am SO tired. I can't bring myself to do anything I should be doing. My house is a mess. And when I do attempt to do something productive I usually end up getting frustrated and cry. And then I laugh at myself for crying. And K joins in...which sends me right back to crying.

As if being horribly tired wasn't bad enough, I can't sleep! I have a cold or something that is making me cough and giving me a scratchy throat and it makes it impossible to sleep. Last night I went to bed at 9:30, didn't fall asleep until 12:30 and was awake about every 20 minutes flopping around until my alarm went off at 6:15. Which meant that I went to school exhausted and actually had the bright idea to try and nap at my desk when the kids were at music. So I closed the door, set the alarm on my phone in case a miracle happened and I actually fell asleep, curled up on my desk college style, and closed my eyes. No sooner had I done that when I heard someone say, "Bored?". Busted. The reading teacher came in and caught me. Boo...that was the end of my "nap".

Tonight I plan on trying the couch to see if it makes a difference and I can sleep through the night. We'll see how it goes...I've already been choosing places in the school where I could go sleep tomorrow while my student teacher teaches. So far the science room is sounding pretty good. In between the dinosaurs and rocks...perfect.

4w6d - I survived!

Conference week is over and I made it through alive! Weekend here I come!

My weekend is off to a great start because I had a present when I got home! From the fabulous Pink! :) It's a little onesie and a cute pair of bee baby nail clippers. So cute! I am so thankful for having such wonderful BFPB's. Pink and E, you have been so supportive. Thank you girls for everything you've gone through with me. Pink, I can't wait until it's your turn!

I learned something new this week. Here it is: the "sore boobs" that I have had before were NOTHING compared to sore pregnancy boobs. Holy crap! I take my bra off at night and just want to weep. My dogs have a knack for bumping into them so I cower in fear everytime they get in bed with me and want to cuddle.

I am now on week 5 of pregnancy and this week (drumroll please....) Baby Bee's heart will start beating! Isn't that crazy? He/she really doesn't even look like a baby yet (remember last week's tail comment?), but there is a beating heart and blood circulating through his/her tiny body. This week baby is the size of an apple seed. Aww.

And lastly I leave you with this week's belly pics. I skipped last week because, let's face it, there's nothing to see and probably won't be for quite a while longer. But at least we can keep tabs on my pretty bloat....just what you want, right? :)

4w4d - This week is exhausting

For school this week I have parent-teacher conferences Tuesday and Thursday. After school. So we have a full school day, then a break for dinner, then conferences from 5:15-8:00. Looooong day. I survived round 1 yesterday, but was so exhausted when I got home that I crawled into bed and went to sleep early. Today we have a half day of school and then an inservice on RtI in the afternoon. I hope the inservice is interesting, or I for sure will be asleep. I just want the week to speed by so I can get to my lazy weekend I am looking forward to.

In baby news, I will be 5 weeks pregnant tomorrow. I really look forward to seeing my ticker progress everyday. I'm still nervous something will go wrong, so it helps me to see the days ticking by. I have my first appointment a week from tomorrow, but it is just the informational one. I am ready to have this baby confirmed by a doctor! They will do bloodwork, so I am hoping they will at least tell me my HcG levels or something. I guess I'll have to wait and see! (That seems to be the theme of pregnancy...wait and see)

4w0d - Learned something new.

After all the research and learning I did about TTC, I swear I could teach a fertility class. Or at least give some really great pointers to girls that are just starting the process. However, as it turns out, I neglected to research what happens once K and I have actually succeeded at creating life...what comes next? Besides morning sickness and an ever-expanding belly, I don't really know what to expect in the next 9 months. Or, gasp, when the baby actually comes!

Freaking out as I normally do, I decided my plan of action should be to order every pregnancy book I could find on Amazon. Before I checked out, I realized that I was insane and narrowed it down to Your Pregnancy Week by Week and book for K, The Expectant Dad. Well, that was on Monday and it is now Saturday and apparently the good people at Amazon and the USPS do not realize that they are dealing with a hormonal pregnant woman with no patience. So last night I took a little trip to Target where I bought two things. The first, this adorable sleeper:
It was just so tiny! I am so amazed at the size of newborn clothes. I can't believe that in 9 months I will have a little someone who can wear it!

My second purchase was the book Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy. I'm actually a little afraid to read it because she is so honest and blunt about the trials and tribulations of pregnancy and birth. But I started it today and learned my first something new: runny noses are a pregnancy symptom. Now this may not seem like a big deal to you, but this is the first concrete thing that I can say, "I have that!" Since Monday I have had the worst runny nose accompanied by a searing sore throat. It's been driving me crazy and I couldn't figure out my own dumb luck to get pregnant and sick in the same week. Well ta-da! Mystery solved - poppyseed is already making me sick. :)

Speaking of poppyseed...that is the size of our baby this week!
I subscribed to a weekly newsletter based on the progress of my pregnancy. It also sends me a picture of poppyseed, but I will spare you that one. It's pretty freaky. Next week it gets freakier - I showed K and he said, "Oh my god, it grew a tail!"

Oh poppyseed, we love you... even if you have a tail. :)